Best 5 Bollywood Movies According to My Other Indian Friend Achyut

So my choice of the indisputably best Bollywood movies ever a few days ago generated a veritable firestorm of controversy amongst the Indian community. And by that I mean my other Indian friend Achyut disagreed. So, to be fair, I've created a list of the Bollywood films he thinks are the best.

5. Mujhse Shaadi Karogi

So when Achyut provided this as one of his selections, all he gave me was a link to one of the movie’s songs. And seriously, I don’t know what to make of it. The video seems at times awesome, and at others ridiculous. As I’m not a Bollywood connoisseur, I couldn’t really tell you which one it’s supposed to be. Judge for yourself:

Anyway, the movie is a comedy about a love triangle between two guys and a girl. At the end of the film (SPOILER!) one the guys gets the girl, but the two dudes are still friends, so it’s chill.  

4. Munna Bhai MBBS

Achyut calls this film “3 Idiots before 3 Idiots.” It’s about a man who is a mobster but tells his parents that he is a doctor. When they find out that he’s been lying, he decides to go to med school to regain their love and respect. Along the way to his degree, he clashes with a strict administrator who opposes his radical, almost holistic approach to medicine, and falls in love with said administrator’s daughter. The result, according to Achyut, is awesomesauce.    

 

3. Andaz Apna Apna

This movie, says Achyut, is one of those films that is so ridiculously bad that it’s good. With “songs that are borderline sexual harassment, terrible production quality, and hilarious jokes,” this movie is about two slackers who try to marry an heiress so they’ll never have to work. The heiress’s secretary also becomes involved, as well as her father (who the two guys try to kidnap in a misguided attempt to impress her) and the father’s evil twin. Even Achyut’s mom calls this one stupid, and when Achyut’s mom says something’s stupid, it is most definitely stupid.

2. Kal Ho Naa Ho

Shah Rukh Khan was Achyut’s boyhood idol, so it’s no surprise that he loves this one. Starring Khan, Preity Zinta, and Saif Ali Khan (who, incidentally, is dating Butterface) this film takes place in New York, and boy do they ever show it. Once Achyut told me about this movie, I actually watched it (and realized for the first time what a time commitment a Bollywood movie is) and I have to say I have never seen so many American flags in my life. And in keeping with the whole American thing, they actually obtained a license to use the song “Pretty Woman,” which is almost never done in Bollywood. Oh, and like Kabhie Kushi Kabhie Gham for Buj, this one made Achyut cry. 

Suck it, Achyut!

1. Dhoom 2  

This is my blog, Achyut! I made a mistake last time, allowing Buj’s #1 to remain that way, even though I knew Dhoom 2 was superior to all Bollywood movies. Well no more. Hrithik will not be contained!